I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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