fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
