so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
