That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
