Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
