Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
