i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
