Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You're like the curious george of whores
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
