Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
