I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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