I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
