my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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