you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I cannot find my penis.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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