I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
