If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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