So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
