Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
