she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
