we have officially lost it.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
