Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
