should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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