oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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