it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
