Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
