he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
