Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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