ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
