I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
