Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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