so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
