oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize