He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
