you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
