We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
