SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
