you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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