she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
