i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
