yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
