I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
