i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
