Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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