he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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