4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
