just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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