I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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