All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
