butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
