Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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