I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
