Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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