i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
