hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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