I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
