You made me cry and you don't even care
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
