somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
