i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
