Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
