I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
