my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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