He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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