Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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