Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
