im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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