You really coming over, don't trick.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
